How would you like to cut your income in half? Yup, that’s right, without signing anything, we can arrange to make half your income disappear. Do you like that idea?
Just taking a wild guess, the chances are that you didn’t like that idea, and that it took you practically zero seconds to reach that judgement. In the last programme we talked about the importance of delaying your judgement., so that your mind has time to explore interesting ideas. However, as we have just seen, it is often easier said than done. So, in this programme we are going to give you some practical steps to help you strengthen this critical skill.
Let’s get going.
Step 1.
When you are confronted with a new idea, whether it is one you dreamt up or someone else is telling you about it, the first thing you have to do is relax and take some time to explore the idea before making any decision. Now we know that this sounds so simple that it can’t really work, but this is actually a very powerful technique which really can transform your judgement.
Now, it is important to understand that some ideas will be easier to explore than others. For example, you are probably already very relaxed about the proposed change to the off-side rule in Belgian Snarky Ball. On the other hand, a change to the rules about how much people should be able to drink before driving, probably creates a stronger reaction. The key point here is no matter how strongly you feel about an idea, you must still relax and give yourself the time to explore it, rather than jumping to a conclusion. However, it is also important to realise that exploring an idea doesn’t mean agreeing with it. In other words, you can still say ‘No’, after you have properly thought about it.
Step 2.
Relaxing your mind is a great start, but it isn’t enough, after all, going to sleep is obviously a form of relaxation, but it isn’t quite what we have in mind. In order to understand the ideas, you have to pay attention, so the second step is to listen. You have to actively listen to what people – or your own mind – are telling you. Now that might seem an easy thing to do, but people are often not very good at listening. This is particularly true if you know something about the subject. The problem is that as you become more and more expert , it becomes harder and harder for you to really ‘hear’ ideas. Everything becomes translated into terms you already know. So, to really delay your judgement you have to relax, so that you can hear what people are saying, then pay attention to make sure you really hear them.
Step 3.
And this leads to the third step, understand. If someone tells you an idea which doesn’t make sense to you. do you reject it immediately, or do you pause, listen and then try to understand their point of view? It’s amazing what you can learn when you really understand another person’s perspective.
So, the three steps are: relax, listen and understand. Pretty simple huh, OK, ready to practice? Let’s go back to our original question at the start of this programme.
How would you like to cut your income in half next year? Yup, that’s right, without signing anything, we can arrange to make half your income disappear. Well, there are some other pieces of information which you might find of interest.
- You might be able to live a simpler and less stressful life
- You might move to a cheaper part of the country and discover a whole new community
- You might walk more instead of driving, and be much fitter as a result.
- You only have to work 1 day a year.
How do you feel about the idea now?
Did you remember to relax, listen and understand? Good.
This is obviously just a play problem, but the principles apply in any situation. They are terribly simple, but not easy to use, particularly when you are dealing with an issue about which you have strong feelings. So, you have to practice.
Your task for today – and the rest of your life – is to:
- Carry on capturing all your ideas – after a while this will become automatic
- Take every opportunity to practice the 3 steps of delaying your judgement. This applies just as much to your own ideas as it does to other peoples.
One final thought. Taking the time to listen to someone’s ideas – without judging them is one of the simplest and yet most powerful things you can do to help anyone. If you practice this for a few weeks, you will be amazed at how people react to you.
In the next programme we will be exploring what happens when you combine delaying your judgement with generating ideas.